This picture was taken in July of 1994 at Madi's baptism. 2 1/2 months before Mom died.
left to right: Brein, Ben, Rileigh, Madi, Aariel, Joseph and behind Dad & Mom.
Mom would be 52 years old if she were still alive. But I guess she'll remain 37 forever. Her birthday was sunday. I've been thinking of her a lot lately not even realizing her birthday was coming up. My dad texted my siblings and I that day to let us know he had some things of Mom's we could have if we wanted. He has 4 big totes of pictures, letters, jewelry, music, tapes, and other odds and ends. I really hadn't even realized he had saved it all. I'm so glad he did.
Madi and I went over to my Dad's last night to see what was there. My youngest brother Joe joined us. It was fun to see all that she had, but felt very strange to take things home. It makes it feel more permanent. It's as if 15 years without her still hasn't sunk in all the way and I still haven't fully realized the gravity of the situation. Taking home things she loved really makes it real.
Reality hurts. But I think it's just what I needed to help me try and move on. Life will never be the same without her. She would make any situation better just by being here. We were robbed. It's not fair. But you just take it one day at a time and do the best you can. What else can you do? I know the world would be a better place just having her in it. I miss her terribly.
I love you Mom. Happy birthday.
~Brein
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